Our Love Psychics On Love and Romance

Discourse on Love

by Jeli Lala, www.baliashram.com

Some time ago, I wrote a 'discourse on love' ­ a list of how different parts of myself feel about 'love'.  Here it is:

Sensual:  well it's about touching kissing and feeling nice.  Feeling sexy and being sexual and passionate.  Being and feeling satisfied.  It's the
process of allowing a man to make love to you and receiving that as a woman.  It's about being sexual and womanly in return and giving back as an
enchantress or seductress.  (Men, fill in how it is for you!)

Child:  it's about being together on a beach and playing.  Holding hands, running in the wind, playing, dancing, enjoying music...

Artist:  It's about creating something together.  Making a beautiful garden maybe, or even a business.  About travelling and going somewhere together.
Cooking, making music.

Feminine:  it's about enjoying the interaction of male and female and really revelling in it.  Enjoying the differences and bridging the gap.

Provider:  it's about providing.  It's about building something that will last longer than a lifetime.  It's about having children together.  It's about houses and where you live and having nice things around you and having enough money.

Mother: It's about having babies.  Lots of them! And really enjoying the process with someone who enjoys the process too and is fully involved. It's about loving children and being loved in return.

Baby:  It's about being held, and just loved unconditionally. 

Scary:  It's about protection.  It's about being looked after and provided for.  Not having to think about anything.  Being cared for and cossetted in front of a warm fire. Not being responsible for anything at all.  Just relaxing into a net of warmth. (Health warning:  do not give up your responsibilities!  This is a bit of myself I am not particularly proud of! Though I wrote this list a while ago and pray I may have improved!)

Inner Artistic Male:  It's about really connecting with someone on a deep level, a soul level.  It's wordless communication where you don't need to talk, you can just be.  And it's about being with someone even if it isn't easy, or especially then, and just allowing them to be who they are, completely accepting them in the moment for whatever that is.  And being known and accepted in return. 

Magician: it's about the juncture, the junction where we get back together with the opposite sex.  No separation. It's tantra, waves of bliss, ritual and magic, celebration!

Higher Self:  It's about being all of who you are.  It's about discovering all of who you are, through another person or persons who show you the lost parts of yourself.  It's about healing, about helping the other person to recover lost parts of themselves as well.  It's a process of growth where you are both developing, supporting, and challenging each other so that you can reach a new level both individually and as a relationship.  It's the highest thing there is.

I think all of these angles on love are valid.  Maybe we need to satisfy all of them, at different times, in different ways.  (It's important to satisfy all the different parts of ourselves, not leave any aspects out, otherwise resentments start creeping in, and then a certain 'inner character' might take over the show, do something reckless.  This is when we say we are acting 'out of character'!  Really we should say we are acting 'in character' perhaps!)

What is 'a good relationship?'

In western terms 'a good relationship' may just mean 'a long one'.  We tend to measure the quality of our relationships by how long they last.  Yet, look back at some of your relationships, the significant encounters that have affected you, and notice the length...  One of my most significant relationships, that taught me so much, only lasted a month!  We think of relationships as 'a failure' when they end, but I think it would be better to think of them as 'a journey'.  'Oh, this person travelled with me
to...here, and on the way we... ' Perhaps the wisest journey, too, is one where you look at your feet and make a fresh decision on direction with every step!  Surely this is the way to end up where you really want to get to?  Rather than setting the destination, blindly tramping there, then at the peak exclaiming 'shit!  I'm in the wrong place!'  In a similar vein, I want to re-write the fairy stories, or at least add a bit onto the usual ending thus: 'I want to live happily ever after... EVERY DAY!'

A relationship prayer...

Oh God let me have the courage to be myself
To say the things that need to be said, in the moment
Without fear of consequences
Let me show who I really am
And be open to seeing the other person as they are, or might be,
and reflect that back
Let me open to receive the gifts that are being offered
And have the joy of offering my gifts in return
without any expectation
Let me be a 'fool for love' ­ give me the courage to say just what I think and feel,
what I want and need, honestly, always, however daft it seems.
Let me love unconditionally, just giving.
Let me be 'in the moment', however it is
And save me from the hell of the 'head trip' so I can enjoy what 'is' and
not make myself suffer about what 'might be'
Oh God!  Let me know the joy of not judging!
And if I am really blessed, let me know the joy of not being judged
­unconditional love.
May there sometimes be fun with squishy mangoes.
And let me enjoy the journey, one step at a time, living 'happily ever after' every day!

How to be love

Flirt with everybody and everything, man, woman, baby, grandmother, leaf, dog, bird...
Notice the incredible beauty of a flower and feel the connection with yourself
Really taste orange juice (or, anything!)
Get excited and passionate about something that moves you.  Express it!
Laugh!  Sing!  Dance!  Celebrate!  Wear a red nose!
Enjoy touch, massage, the feel of velvet, a peach
Reach out for somebody.  Take a risk.  Be a glorious fool. 
There are no mistakes in love, only experiences. 
The only real mistake is in refusing to play...

Jeli Lala created the 'Ashram of Jewellery and Art' ­ Gifts, Crystals, Tarot, Art, Healing, Café - at no. 1, Sukma St., Tebesaya, Ubud (opposite Jazz Café), with husband, Putu S.  She has studied yoga and other spiritual practices for over ten years.  She writes "In this column, I share some of my personal experiences and spiritual methods ­ hopefully, you'll find this interesting, and maybe it will give some ideas for your own journey.  Come visit!" Jeli welcomes comments and may be contacted on: Email:  enquiries@baliashram.com Website:  www.baliashram.com.

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