Our Love Psychics On Love and Romance

What's Wrong With Being Single?

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by M.L. Danielle Daoust

I seem to be a rarity in today’s society, I’m happily, heterosexually single. Folks desperate to find love are a mystery to me. I’m bewildered by the men and women who claim they’ll just wither away to nothing if that perfect partner doesn’t show up, and FAST. What’s wrong with being single?

Every psychic who has ever read for me, and every friend who has ever been close to me insists there’s a partner out there for me and then is shocked when I reply that I’m not interested, could we please look at some other aspect of my life that is more exciting to me? I have a terrific partner, a partner in work and in a way of life. She is happily married to a man she shares the rest of her time with... I have a second wonderful partner, a partner also in work and in a way of life. My son’s handicaps demand the kind of support I can provide, and he supports and cares for our home in ways that I am unable... for now, this is enough partnership in my life.

Even my next brother hauled me into his office one day to ask when I was going to settle down. He liked all the men I had ever dated, but couldn’t understand why I kept choosing fellows who were clearly on the move... it didn’t dawn on him that I was also... on the move... Fortunately, my family gave up on my finding a mate some years ago and most of my friends have reconciled themselves to the possibility that being single might just be an OK lifestyle, at least for Danielle.

That’s not to say that I don’t think marriage is wonderful, a desirable goal - for many.... My parents are still very much in love with each other after having been married for 60 years. Most of my brothers and sisters and close friends are in relationships that will probably last as long. Our family is long on commitment and it seems I attract friends with the same values... I’ve really admired the couples around me. I’ve noticed how hard they worked at making love work - and also how much love they shared and how it grew and cemented their bonds over the years. I have even been a little jealous of what this love produced - the thriving offspring, brilliant nieces and nephews, the Disney holidays and the vacation properties, the beautiful big homes and inviting swimming pools, the noise and laughter of a house full of busy growing people... but then I take a second look, and I decide, once again, that I like being single... it suits me just fine... for now...

Every moment of every day is mine, I have no one to blame when things go wrong. I am free to go where I want, when I want, with whom I want... I have no one to answer to, no one to put me down, no one to make demands on me... but me. I am free, free to be me, warts and all. And free to face the consequences... or not. There is no one to approve or disprove, no one to challenge my choices, no one to remind me of - or bring me down into - my frailties, no one to demand I change... no one but me...

I am free - totally free - I can freely love my son, my sisters and brothers, my nieces and nephews, my mother and father, and my friends - my girlfriends and my boyfriends.... there is no one to regulate who I can love, nor how much, nor how often... and there is no one to tell me how to love, nor what is love, nor why to love... nor what I can expect from love... I can just love... and I can just learn to love... for the fun of it... for the giving of it... for the love of it...

Somewhere along the line, I know I consciously chose to be single - at least for now... in the 30 or more years since I made that decision, I’ve had no reason to change my mind. Things might have been different had I never had love... I’ve been married and I’ve lived with a few other men, men I thought might be my soul mates, but... But one day I noticed that I’d had enough of playing around, searching for the right partner... In my search I had had "the best of ‘em, and the worst of ‘em" - and I had laughed and cried, wined and dined, flirted and played to my heart’s content... but I had found no one to spend my life with... so I decided to stop searching, to just get on with being single. It works for me, this business of being single...

I can leave my teeth on the side of the bed at night without worrying that he’ll notice the nicotine stains. I can eat what I want during the day, without worrying who I might offend that night... I can fall into bed all stinky and dirty after a day in the garden - or soak the garden away with three hours in the bubble bath... it’s my choice.. I can work in my raggedy old flannel PJ’s - or not work at all... it’s up to me... I can sleep with all three cats and both dogs - or none. I can wear those awful baggy pants - or that sexy, low-cut number... whatever I like... I can be miserable and cranky, or sweet and gentle... I can be a neat freak or a slob, whatever suits me this week...

The best part of being single is being free... free to be responsible for my own happiness... free to see that my happiness is up to me, free to recognize that happiness is a choice I make from moment to moment, an attitude I take to life... As a one, I am free to be happy, free to be joyful about being One. Being single gives me the freedom to be grateful, and to be graceful... being One... It’s enough, for me, for now... it works.

At almost 60, my life is rich in relationship and activities I love... it would be nice to also have a partner in these, someone to wipe the tears and share the giggles, someone to cuddle with, someone who won’t care when I leave my teeth on the side of the bed... but what are the chances? I worked too hard for the joy and freedom of my life as it is.... while I’d gladly give up a lot of the "things" that make up my life, I’ve tasted freedom... and the freedom to love, myself, my family, my friends, my life, my world, this freedom I will not again give up, ever... I like being single, I like being One... it works for me... for now...

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