Ask the Medium
Suicide and the Soul
Some Questions and Answers
What happens if you commit suicide?
** Very individual. As I understand it, there is no hard and fast rule here. Religion will teach that there is - some level of hell or purgatory or something, but I have not found such hierarchies exist in the spirit world. The person who committed suicide will have to face their transition of course, and it will be as it is with all deaths - very much based on the beliefs the person themselves held.
What is the afterlife for somebody who commits suicide?
*** I'm sure again it is unique to the spirit of the person, but would also depend on what brought them to their decision. For example, some suicides are desperate acts - people who cannot live here anymore and who cannot see a way through their pain. Others are considered honourable - such as the days of kamikaze pilots or the current crop of suicide bombers who do not do this as an end to something personal, but as a feeling of a larger mission in life. It does not matter whether you agree with them or not - or whether we judge them as deluded or not - it matters how they see what they are doing as to the conditions of the crossing over. I hope that makes sense.
Where does the afterlife lead them?
*** I'm sure to as vast an array of experience and opportunity as anyone else's does. I think you get what you can see though, so if one crosses over with beliefs that are highly limiting, their experience of death will be more limiting than one who believes in much more. Yet, belief alone will be overridden with truth, so as all things are possible, they are in death too. That said, in the afterlife, they will be given an pportunity to work through and resolve some of the soul issues that drove them totake their lives in the first place. But again, this is the same for every soul... perhaps a little more intense for some...
Are they trapped in between dimensions?
*** Only if the trap themselves. Some schools of thought would say yes. And I know that once upon a time we were called to participate in a soul rescue... a schizophrenic woman in deep despair was missing, had committed suicide but no one could find her body. We found her in the astral plane and were able to pull her soul free and take her across where she was met by light-beings who helped her to come back to herself... but it took three weeks of earth time for this healing to manifest so her body could be found and her family could finally put her to rest. In this case, the woman was so deeply despondent and ashamed of her condition that she did not feel worth saving - so she stayed stuck in the position that she died on the astral plane... It took a great deal of love and soul work for this woman to decide to free herself from this pain and move on in other dimensions.
Are they reincarnated?
*** Depends on if they decide to do so. Our sprits decide if they will reincarnate based on what the higher purpose of living life here is about. This is not human logic - it is spirit logic, which is different than ours. Reincarnation is a choice - one that a soul makes for reasons beyond human logic. So, it would depend on if the soul felt they were actually finished here or not. In the case of the suicidal woman, above, it seems that she has decided to work from spirit dimensions to help others who are mentally ill get the help they need... and to accept themselves...
Is there next life worse than their previous life?
*** Only if they make it so. In metaphysics and spiritual understanding, there is no better or worse - there is only what is. However in keeping with your idea here, no I see no reason for it to be worse - if they learned what they need to or sought whatever they were seeking. It could be - but it could not be. Spirit makes no value judgments - humans do, so the concept of better or worse just doesn't apply in spirit world. The answer would be, if they learned something from the experience, probably not... it would depend on what lessons they felt they needed to take on in their next life...
One final note... there appears to be a difference between a suicide of a mentally ill person and the suicide of someone who is on a mission and the suicide of someone who is simply despairing of life... in the first two cases, there appears to be a kind of "emergency room" operation on the other side that swings into action to rescue and help the soul to reconnect with itself once it crosses over... but in the third case, I have seen the feelings getting bigger, consuming the spirit until there is nothing but the pain... it appears to be a horrific way of crossing over, consumed by doubt and fear and the agony of despiar... it is as if our physical bodies somehow contain this pain, but when we release ourselves from the vehicle at death, the pain becomes overwhelming... and thus comes I think the sense of being trapped between dimensions... and the need for a great deal of prayer and love for the soul in such pain... eventually, as the soul processes what it is experiencing, and again, with enough love and prayer sent, the soul's guides and agnels are able to get through the pain to recover the soul and carry it to safety.
Do Not Despair
My name is Linda and I am a 21 year old college student who thinks about suicide almost everyday. On the surface, I seem like an outgoing, loudmouthed, party girl but inside I suffer from a great sadness and ponder the different ways I can end my misery.
Ten months ago, my ex-boyfriend committed suicide in a ravine, right next to a tree bearing our initials. I was initially overwhelmed with shock; he had broken things up with me 11 months prior and if anything, I was the one depressed over him. It made absolutely no sense and I am still in shock today. I need to know if he's okay on the other side-I think I contributed to his depression somehow and this thought is killing me slowly. Can you assist me to find some spirtual mediums in Canada that can help me? Everyone hates me and then blame me...I blame me. I need him to forgive me so that I can forgive myself and move on. I am so lost, I am on academic probation and have turned to drugs to drown out my pain. He was high that night too. Please help me. Linda
Dear Linda, I am sorry that you have found so little in life valuable enough to make you want to hang around and participate. I can understand your shock - and there is no time table on how we assimilate these traumas and move on... it is still fresh for you. While a medium may help somewhat, and Victoria is an excellent spiritual medium - she is in BC, you really need some help from a therapist, someone with whom you can talk over and let go of some of the pain and guilt that you are holding. There are some wonderful folks who specialize in dealing with grief - ask your family doctor.
You cannot hold yourself responsible for your ex-boyfriend's choices, and you are not helping him any by holding onto the belief that you are responsible and wanting to go yourself... to tell you the truth, suicide is an act of cowardice, and I really don't think you are a coward... you wouldn't be asking for help...
this I can tell you for sure, there was a lot more going on for your ex than you at the end... he decided to check out because of the build up of pain and fear and guilt, resentment, anger, frustration, that has been with him since childhood... he began to feel that life was hopeless, that he'd already "missed the boat", and sadly, he has used this method in previous lifetimes to escape from circumstances that he couldn't - or at least didn't want to and wouldn't - face - his ego was too fragile to consider making the changes from inside that would be necessary to make his life happier. And he was angry so his passing was about making a statement, getting noticed...
You cannot let his depression and pain "infect" you. His path is not yours - you had already split up and his passing really didn't have anything to do with you, your break-up was simply one of many little frustrations and disappointments that had plagued him in recent years. So stop dramatizing here, you are taking responsibility where you should not! And not taking responsibility where you should!
Please go get help immediately!
This is about the fact that you haven't given yourself enough reason to love yourself and your life... happiness is a choice - so choose to look for a reason to love life, choose to be responsible for making yourself happy... please look around and notice what is good about you and your life and start reaffirming your life from this place... there has to be something that is good about you, some talents or abilities in you, some compassion and caring... call for your angels and guides to help you find a more positive outlook. Work with the affirmation "I am getting better and better every day in every way." Our lives are the products of our thoughts, feelings, actions and the love we generate and give.. Read the book "the Power of Your Subconscious Mind" by Dr Joseph Murphy - it will help you to reframe a lot of those dark thoughts - and explains why it's worth putting the energy into actively moving from a negative to a positive frame of mind.
All of us, at one time or another will have a dark night of the soul - the measure of our character is how well we handle them - so, show the world what you're made of here hon, stop blaming and shaming or taking on those feelings around yourself... see what beauty is in you and around you and you will find things can shift - it is up to you.
Just know that you are not serving your ex or yourself by trying to follow on his path. You have something you will accomplish in life, so go for it...
I do hope these insights are useful to you. Lotsa LLLove, Danielle
I would really like to know if there is a life after death (suicide)! I'm been thinking about it alot lately! I want to be able somehow to give my assurances to the family I would be leaving behind that everything will be ok!
You see my Wife whom I love so much is divorcing me! ( after 22 years ) She is the world to me as well as my children that she gave to me! At one time she trusted me and now she not only don't trust me but she say's she don't love me anymore either!
I find it hard to get though a day with this weighing heavy on my mind! I'm pretty much tired! I just rented an apartment just down the street but I don't think I can handle being alone! And it's not so much being alone as it is being without Her! She means everything to me and I'm not able to deal with the thought of not having her by my side! Not that you really needed to know all that it's just that I want to know for sure that I can let them know everything will be alright for them! Thank's Dave.
Dave, following you'll find three responses from different members of our team... we take threats of suicide seriously, but because each of us has experienced heart-rending disappointments in our own lives, we also know that you can pull out of the darkness, if you will give yourself a chance... while none of us can say for sure what happens after death, there are a lot of indications from a lot of different sources that this is not the best plan... I don't think you will want to go through what you are dealing with now in another lifetime.... best hang in and deal with this one or you will find this is a pattern in life after life - perhaps it already has been and your karma in this life is to be strong this time... whatever the case, I do know that the universal laws show that energy doesn't die, it simply transforms, and it takes with it the impulses, impressions or patterns, whether negative or positive, that have been established in previous lifetimes... so take this opportunity to make changes... Lotsa LLLove Danielle
And now from other members of our team:
You have no idea what you will miss, or how you will be missed, and you can't be so selfish at this time when your children are already suffering... You really need to think of what you are thinking of doing.. Leaving this world in this manner leaves you stuck in the between worlds. I really feel you just need to find someone to talk to and realize that life makes these twists for good reasons. Usually we find soon after that we needed to complete this cycle in our lives to move on to the next faze of our life.. Your spirit guides have something for you to do that will be a change and a new focus. Give yourself some time you will see what I mean.. I hope this helps and please feel free to email us again. Good luck and think positive. Barbi
There is life after suicide but often it is not a great life. It is not heaven as we know it. You will have to pay for your suicide in spirit and it will be a time of deep regret.
You also set your children up to commit suicide as they get older. Check the facts. When a parent commits suicide the children are more inclined to do it too. You create a possible life path for any one of them.
You have the possibility of having a great relationship with your children by staying alive and creating a time for them and being a great dad in spite of all odds. You give them the heritage of a great father and a bonding you can never create across from the grave. I think you need to pick yourself up and stop feeling sorry for yourself and maybe you cannot be a husband but you can sure be a dad. Give the kids quality time. Establish a solid relationship with them and let them see you as a great guy and not a weak coward.
You might feel that they are old enough they do not need you. Children always need their parents and you have this chance to develop a relationship beyond marriage.
Are you trying to lay a guilt trip on your wife and children? I would really examine your motives and stop feeling sorry for yourself. It is too early perhaps for the news that you will have another relationship and find great happiness in the future ON EARTH. Victoria
Editor's Note: Serge submitted the following with this note: "Danielle, I don't know if you will want to forward this to him." - I did... as I said, we take threats of suicide seriously - sometimes we need a good shake in order to come back to ourselves.
From personal (I have been there) experience, this is a veiled attempt to find a justification over and above his pain to juggle the possibility of suicide as a means to punish both his wife, and himself.
He needs professional help, there is no two ways around it.
People who contemplate suicide suddenly believe that they are now bereft of any and all resources, that the time and energy and emotions they have invested in a relationship has suddenly, possibly all been for nothing, that they and their relationships are somehow a big failure.
It is a very complex issue, and there is more to this than we are told in this email. We have only heard his side and this is not the full story. The interactions and relationships evolved over the years between him and his wife and children has had problems before, but their communications skills were not developed.
Also, problems over the years have been swept under the carpet, or just denied and never resolved.
Thus, in order to NOT face a still good future, but a future where all the twists and turns of his and his family's life and problems have to come to the light of day (the conscious mind to clean house so to speak), and deal with what he suddenly considers too heavy a burden, he is contemplating opting out. He feels he has suddenly painted himself into a psychological corner and can't see that there are still doors all around him.
Counselling and support can provide assistance and if only he can see that he CAN have still a bright future, though a different future, he can turn around. People all over the world go through such, and worse things, and come out on top.
He also wants others to feel sorry for him, which he then takes onto his own shoulders and makes his problems bigger through this process.
He is also being extremely selfish right now, this goes in with wanting to punish his wife and even himself, mentioned earlier.
If he can focus instead on being around to provide his children with a father, still show them he cares enough to overcome all adversity and make this, one of life's biggest challenges into a truly powerful and creative means to re-invent himself and follow a new, different path, perhaps he will come out of this better than anyone, including himself suspects.
He needs to know that his children still see him in their future, he needs to have a future with and for his children.
But he needs professional help and counselling.There are countless support groups all over the place for men going through a divorce, or separation, and they work. He has to come to grips with a changing reality and care for and be there for his children and others who love him.
Though his wife may no longer love him enough to continue the relationship, it doesn't mean she doesn't love him at all. He just wants her to continue loving him only in the boundaries of the relationship.
He originally worded his request in such a way that he expects psychics to tell him that suicide is ok. It is not. Killing someone else, or yourself is a violation against your own self. Serge http://www.krischronicles.com/
I am quite troubled by something that I read on your site, and I hope that you can help me figure it out. This may help others who are going through what I am going through, as well. I have been struggling with questions of suicide, both because of depression and because I am trying to figure out why thoughts of suicide cause such alarm and pain inside me. I checked out the suicide portion of your web page, and while most of it was very helpful/informative, I am extremely troubled by one element of the page: one of your psychics, Danielle, responds to a question of why a man's mother died/girlfriend commit suicide. Danielle said that the girlfriend possibly felt that she had accomplished all that she wanted to/or felt that she couldn't accomplish all that she wanted to, and that it was OK to go. This decision was made, at least at the soul level. Does that mean that the soul decided for the girl that she would kill herself? Did she have other options, or once the soul decided, is that it? This really bothers me, as I am trying to learn how to trust my soul, and now I am scared, as I'm afraid that my soul has it in for me. I've learned that the soul's intent is always to feel the highest feeling of love while alive, to return/experience God in the physical state, to return to God by remembering, etc. And at my best, I am learning to let go of fear and do this. But this scares the heck out of me, as if my soul has decided that my life is done, then how do I have free will? Will I just end up killing myself? Please respond to this, as I am confused. Thanks. Jonas
I think your soul is about the one place you can feel any trust since this is the aspect of you that is connected with your Source.... you are overthinking things here... your soul is not separate from you and by its very nature cannot harm you... the trouble occur when we get locked in our egos... separated from the soul... free will is exercised at a soul level... Hope that helps, Lotsa LLLove, Danielle
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